Fly Ball
by the blanket
Summary: [H x B. crack!fluff. oneshot.] In which Hiei misses the ball, but catches something infinitely better. Oh. And there is Much Denial.


**Title: **Fly Ball  
**Genre: **slightly crackish!humor, absolute fluff  
**Pairing: **Hiei x Botan  
**Summary: **In which Hiei misses the ball, but catches something infinitely better. Oh. And there is Much Denial.  
**Warnings: **Alt. Pairing, TWT, definite **OOC**…did I mention the crack value?  
**  
Notes: **No idea where this came from. It is pointless crack!fluff. _JON_ is in progress. This was screaming to be typed.

**Disclaimer**: Nope, sorry.

* * *

There were just some days when it wasn't worth getting out of bed.

Or tree. Whatever.

Today, Hiei decided, was definitely one of them.

That oaf, Kuwabara, had somehow talked them all into playing a game of baseball. It almost hadn't happened, what with Yuusuke and Kuwabara fighting over the hallowed position of team captain, and Kurama tactfully pointing out that four people was hardly a suitable number for such a game. Yuusuke only snickered and pointed out that Koenma owed him—"_a hell of a lot of favors after all the times I saved his toddler-ass!_"—and explained that there was no time better than the present to redeem it. A phone call later, and a portal was dispatched to the Makai. Mere moments after _that_, Jin, Touya, Chu, Rinku, Suzuka and Shishiwakamaru stepped out, mildly disoriented but otherwise cheerful.

That only left the girls.

Keiko had been convinced after a bit of cajoling on Yuusuke's part. Their esteemed leader told them that the girl had been studying frantically for weeks. This was just what she needed to "get out and rejoin the living, dammit!"

The baka's sister had agreed with a smirk.

"Just don't cry too hard, baby bro, when I steal your thunder."

Yukina, always eager to learn about the human world had been the most enthusiastic. When Hiei had started to protest, Yukina only had to turn to him, pleading evident in her garnet eyes, before he succumbed.

He ignored the snickers from Yuusuke and the heated glare from Kuwabara.

The only one missing was the ferry girl, begging off after taking one look at her schedule for the day.

"Sorry, Yuusuke! There's an epidemic in Malaysia, and a tornado heading for Kansas. I can't possibly take off. Have fun though!"

So she was out.

Not that Hiei cared, of course.

Certainly not.

She was a just nuisance anyway, with her stupid, unnatural blue hair and her pink eyes that sparkled _entirely _too much. And her stupid smile…

No. Hiei was glad she wasn't here.

_Bonk_.

A baseball bounced off his head and fell next his right leg.

Hiei glared at it.

The ball burst into flames.

A quiet chuckle had the fire demon wanting to choke something.

"Sorry, Hiei. Might I ask, what had you thinking so deeply that you dropped your guard? She-I mean, it must be pretty special if it has you so distracted."

Like an entirely too observant fox.

Damn, he hated Kurama.

* * *

After a quick crash course in baseball for the visiting demons—and the two residents, Yukina and Hiei— they were finally ready to begin. In the middle of their impromptu baseball camp, Koenma and Jorge popped in, both claiming exhaustion after a hard day at he office. That added two more to their roster.

Kuwabara concluded the impromptu lesson with one, very good piece of advice:

"Remember, guys! Talk to each other! Call that ball!"

Since there were only fifteen players instead of the required eighteen, it was decided—after much punching, kicking, _biting,_ and in-general rough-housing—that Jorge would sit out for the first inning, and that there would only be two people in the outfield, and no shortstop. The two captains, Yuusuke and Kuwabara selected their teams.

Yuusuke selected Hiei, Jin, Touya, Chu, Rinku, and Shizuru. This left Kuwabara with Keiko, Yukina, Kurama, Shishiwakamaru, Koenma, and Suzuka. After both teams had shaken hands, the two captains flipped a coin to decide who would take the field first. Predictably, this degenerated into yet another argument; one that Keiko stopped with a mighty-power slap for Yuusuke and a newly-developed, ear-tweak for the swirly-eyed Kuwabara. Throughout all this, Hiei remained quiet, only chuckling darkly after watching the kind of hold a mere human woman had over two of the most powerful beings he'd ever known.

In any case, Yuusuke's team took the field first. Their captain assigned Touya as catcher, Rinku at second, Chu at third, Kurama at first and himself as pitcher. He'd given Hiei and Jin dominion over outfield, which made sense. They would have the easiest time covering all that ground.

So there he was, in right field, bored out of his mind. All the balls had stayed in the infield thus far, and out of the corner of his eye, Hiei could see Jin doing back flips in the air. Luckily, this park was in a run-down part of the city, one where very few people lived, and even fewer visited. Anyone who claimed to see humans performing acrobatic stunts in the air would simply be dismissed as "druggies."

Baseball was an exceedingly stupid game, Hiei thought, but then, the _humans_ had invented it. What else could be expected?

He sullenly picked at the huge brown blob that covered his left hand and scowled.

Stupid brown leather.

His red eyes flitted over to the pitcher's mound. His self-proclaimed "captain" gave him a cheery thumbs up.

Hiei flipped him off.

Suddenly, he heard a loud, gravelly yell coming from the vicinity of home plate.

"Hey shorty, you'd better uncover that third eye of yours! You're gonna need it to find the ball _I_ hit!"

Knowing it would irritate him, the fire demon made a great show of lying down on the field, and placing his glove over his eyes.

Hearing Kuwabara's enraged screeching made the feel of the prickly, human grass against his back worth it.

_Smack!_

Apparently, the dolt had every reason to be proud of his abilities in this asinine sport. The ball he hit went higher…higher…higher…

_Ponk!_

A sudden squeal of distress filled the air. Keiko spotted the source first.

"Oh, my goodness! Botan!"

Apparently, Kuwabara's baseball had enough force on it to knock Botan's low-flying oar for a loop.

The ferry girl was falling.

Frantically, they scampered to catch her.

"I've got her," Jin exclaimed. Unfortunately, he miscalculated his angle of retrieval, and flew a few feet to Botan's right. The wind shinobi yelped as he saw that he was flying closer and closer to a tree trunk…

"GAH!"

Botan, meanwhile had tried to summon her oar again, but found that the stubborn thing was still smarting after being hit by the baseball. Honestly, it wasn't her fault! She saw the ground approaching and braced herself for impact…

That never came.

She opened her eyes, and found herself face to face with ruby red.

"Hiei?"

He grunted, and looked away.

"Who else?"

By now, everyone had rushed over (except for the unfortunate Jin, whose horn was still stuck in the tree trunk).

"Are you all right?"

"Does anything hurt?"

"Say something!"

But the ferry girl's eyes were on Hiei. A pale-pink color washed across her face, and suddenly, Hiei became aware of a lot of things.

The weight of her body…

_Has she not been eating?_

The scent of her hair…

_Lavender, that's definitely lavender. Or maybe sandalwood?_

The feel of her breath mingling with his own…

_Mint. It smells like mint._

The fact that he was still holding her…

…

_Right. Let's fix that._

He set her down gently, ignoring Kuwabara's sniggers and Yuusuke's smirk. He felt a smug satisfaction in the sound of flesh-hitting-flesh. Keiko just went up another notch in his book. Chu was alternately leering and taking a swig from his ever-present sake bottle.

Behind them, Shishiwakamaru and Kurama were whispering. Hiei promised he would beat them both into pulps later, particularly the fox.

Jin was still stuck. Jorge was fretting, thinking of possible solutions.

Koenma was distressed.

Hiei studiously ignored the knowing look in the girls' eyes.

All of his attention was on the ferry girl in front of him.

She smiled at him, that pretty, soft smile that almost made him melt.

_Almost._

Then, she kissed him—just a brief, chaste peck on the cheek.

Hiei swore that anyone who giggled would die. He could feel the flush spreading already.

Ten feet behind him, Kuwabara's baseball landed.

No one noticed.

* * *

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